Guys and Ragdolls (for raggedy_doll)

[hypnotic_patter]

Bass, Alto, and Soprano had known about Billy's new consort shortly after Billy did. Of course he'd left out some of the details of how it had happened (the drunken half-remembered sex, for instance) but the general gist was that he had a Romantic Partner and everyone should recognize how awesome he was for having one.

Alto found Music Meister's enthusiasm adorable, like an eager teenager trying to work references to having a <3~boyfriend~<3 into every single conversation. Her boss had always seemed like a fairly sweet guy and she had extended fantasies of candlelight interludes, riverside serenades, and expensive gifts stolen from the most elite of galleries.

Soprano, who'd had a rotating string of bad boy affairs that almost inevitably ended in disaster, was a little more cynical about the subject. Music Meister had a tendency to bring drama into everything, no pun intended, and the person he waxed eloquent about this week might be the unholy spawn of the Devil as soon as they found something to argue about.

Bass had little opinion on Ragdoll, but he rarely had opinions on things that didn't involve money, imminent danger, or edible products. A happy boss meant less fuss and tantrums so he supposed he was for it.

And their happy boss had been quite daring tonight. Between hectic missions, Arkham visits, and troublesome New England geography Billy and Peter hadn't seen each other in person since the cultist incident. Worryingly explicit (or even more worryingly vague) text messages were no match for a proper romantic get-together. With Ragdoll arriving in town that evening Billy needed to get boyfriend funds together quickly, so he'd neglected the usual ploy of stealing a large shiny object in favor of going after actual cash--in this case, a craps game run by one of the more affluent Gotham gangs. Such games dealt in untraceable cash and goods, and tended to be more on guard against cops than a rousing rendition of "Luck Be a Lady". They'd be upset later, Billy imagined, but what could they possibly do to him? They were mere mobsters and he an archcriminal. At least he'd be spending the money on healthier things than drugs and prostitutes.

The Tempest wasn't originally designed to hold company for more than the length of a show, but Billy had made appropriate accommodations. A few seats had been removed from the balcony to make room for an antique table, as well as an easy chair from which to watch films on the theater's retractable projector screen. Bass, in pinstripes-sans-jacket, was setting the table with fancy silverware and candlesticks. They'd been drafted into wait staff duty for the 'afterparty', as well as making the preparations while the boss was out buying appropriate romance supplies.

Alto was lounging in her flapper girl costume, playing with the long string of beads. A glittering headband with a peacock feather stood out in her blonde hair. Soprano, with her boy cut and less flamboyant style, wore a Coco-Chanel styled women's suit whose kitten heels she'd swapped for sturdy leather boots. Her bell-shaped hat was hanging off the armrest of one of the chairs.

"So what's he like?"

"Freaky."

"I mean, as a person."

"Freaky. He's got these scars all over him and the way he moves is just...freaky. It's like watching a spider with half the legs."

"That doesn't mean he's a bad guy." Alto re-crossed her legs, stockinged feet propped up on the balcony railing. "Meister's plenty weird too. And there's Mr. Nygma, he treats his girls real well and he's all kinds of crazy."

"Look, I only met the guy once and we were both kinda busy. I got no idea what he does in his personal time."

"Besides the boss, hee hee."

"You are such a goddamn twelve-year-old."

"Come on, it's cute that Meister's got a guy. He even went and rescued the boss from those jerks who kidnapped him and that's totally adorable. I bet he's got that same romantic spark Meister does."

"You know Ragdoll's on a mercenary assassin team, right? He's probably wanted for murder in ten states."

"...still doesn't make it not cute."

Comments

[raggedy_doll]

Texts and the intermittent phone call did not, in fact, quite measure up to at least occasional face-to-face interaction. Far be it from him to say a word against long-distance relationships, of course, and theirs was hardly an unhappy one! Ragdoll didn't pine, as such, though of course he couldn't say if William did or didn't, but still, when they both happened to have down time and travel could be arranged, they did happily travel, and this evening was no exception.

He hadn't been able to give a terribly advanced warning, unfortunately. But Billy wasn't in Arkham this time, or scheduled for some elaborate performance, so it seemed to work out all the same. He had been told that they would be eating on the balcony, so there he was off to be -- a little earlier than planned, even!

Which brought things to that very moment--

"Eleven states and three foreign countries, I'm afraid." The voice came from above the henches, as Ragdoll pushed out the vent, letting it clatter to the balcony and unwinding himself from the ventilation shaft.

"That's the danger of traveling too extensively. Good evening," he added. "I assume William has stepped out?"

[hypnotic_patter]

"Jesus!" Alto nearly fell out of her seat. She stared up at Ragdoll with wide eyes and a dropped jaw.

Bass raised his eyebrows high enough that they could be seen over his thick round glasses, but otherwise did not comment.

"We've got a fucking door, you know?" said Soprano, who had barely budged. She folded her arms and glared up at him--no offense meant, this was just how she treated everyone. "Yeah, he's out doing something or other. I thought you weren't supposed to be here for another few hours."

[raggedy_doll]

"But it is all the way down there," Ragdoll pointed out. The air vents had provided a much more direct way up to the balcony!

He dropped down to the floor, crouching and tilting his head at them. "My flight landed earlier than expected, and I thought I would surprise him. Sometimes I forget he gets busy with last-minute preparations!" He waved a hand, dismissing the silly error.

[hypnotic_patter]

"He's out buying...stuff."

"Romantic stuff." Alto had recovered and was already giving him the look-over. She could see what Soprano was talking about, with the freakishness, but it was a cute freakishness. Reminded her of her little brother's pet lizard with its gangly limbs and blank eyes. "He wants everything to be all perfect for this evening."

[raggedy_doll]

"That does sound like him, yes."

Ragdoll straightened up -- well, somewhat; as much as he ever did -- and brushed himself off. He was actually wearing a rather nice suit (despite the oddly black-and-yellow checkered ascot, which was at least made of nice material), which was now a bit dusty but surprisingly not all that creased, even after his trip through the air ducts.

"You're Alto, yes? I believe we spoke, once. And of course I've met Soprano, and this must be Bass."

[hypnotic_patter]

"Hey." Bass gave him a wave and a short nod. None were surprised that he used their henchnames, they were fairly sure Billy didn't even remember their real names half the time.

Alto was still obviously staring at him. Not disapproving or disgusted, just intrigued. "I'm glad you're doing better from getting blown up. The boss was really worried." The few photos she'd seen of him in news articles made it hard to tell his real proportions, and at least in this one his limbs were in the places they should be.

"Spent the whole week in his room listening to the RENT soundtrack," Soprano added. They could usually judge the Meister's mood by his current playlist and the depressing parts of RENT were reserved for only the darkest of days.

"It didn't leave a scar or anything, did it?" And now Alto was trying to steer the conversation back towards appearance. Scarred all over?

[raggedy_doll]

Staring hardly registered with him; it was, after all, what practically everyone did. Not staring was a more unique reaction, really.

He smiled, behind the mask, sound carrying through to his voice: "Really? Did he? He must have been quite distraught!" Not that he's surprised that Meister was, of course. That much had been obvious. But... really, his theatrical qualities were, somehow, endearing. RENT must have meant he was so very upset.

"And, yes, it left scars. But that's nothing new; why, I'm not sure I could say which are fresh and which are old!" They're all blended together in his head, one connected scar pattern rather than individual scars, like-- oh, a map, or something similarly poetic. Like a chaotic picture that doesn't actually make any recognizable shape, in the end. "Though I feel I must correct you. I wasn't blown up, luckily, having made it out of the building by that point. Mostly." Mostly out of the building, and then he'd been shot out into the river. Like a very high-pressure water slide!

[hypnotic_patter]

Alto nodded, as if this was relevant to anything. She was more intent on figuring out the intricacies of the Meister's current true love than how Ragdoll'd made it out of the building alive. That was probably dull and complex and involved guns, which were never that thrilling to talk about.

"I bet that sort of thing happens to you all the time, anyway. The boss says you're a mercenary type." She leaned forward a bit, resting her elbow on the arm of the chair. Her eager expression invited elaboration.

[raggedy_doll]

Well, since they seemed to be settling into conversation, Ragdoll slipped into a seat himself, pushing his mask up to rest on his head -- and drawing his legs up to cross them, then leaning forward himself to cross his arms on them, balancing there.

"Oh, yes, I've had experiences like that, and much worse than that besides! We seem to make a terrible number of enemies in our line of work. But the pay is good, when we do get paid, and the scenery is oh so interestingly squalid, usually..."

[hypnotic_patter]

That was a weird way of phrasing it, but Alto laughed it off. Haha, yes, girl talk, which was funny because he was a boy.

"Yeah, but he's theatrical about everything so that makes sense. I think it's really nice. You don't get a lot of guys who aren't just..."

"Trying to get a quick fuck?"

"Soprano!" Alto kicked one of her boots as punishment for disrupting the adorable. "You don't have to put it like that." She shrugged. But yeah, that was the gist of it.

[raggedy_doll]

"Oh, I certainly don't have anything against a quick fuck," Ragdoll said, easily disrupting the adorable himself, since Soprano had already 'put it like that' (not that he wouldn't have on his own without any prompting). "Why, I would have let him off with just that, but he was the one who insisted that it must have meant something."

He'd been quite troubled about it, the dear. He smiled in fondly amused remembrance. "Dating was his suggestion, though of course I have no complaints about how that turned out." It was nice to have a steady source of dates! And sex. Both were very nice.

[hypnotic_patter]

"See? Most men wouldn't do that, but that's just how the boss does things. He's a real nice guy all around."

"Who spends a lot of time committing crimes or sitting in Arkham."

Alto crossed her arms and pronounced, "You can be a criminal and still be a nice guy." It was probably abundantly clear by now that the henches shared the Meister's self-centric morality system. "It's all about how you treat your sweetheart. There's plenty of good, law-abiding citizens who are real jerks."

"I know, I keep dating them." Soprano eyed Peter speculatively. "Maybe I ought to start hooking up with mercenaries." What the hell, she was already getting regularly arrested or thrown into fights as it was. At least she could get some bought drinks out of it.

[raggedy_doll]

"Dating a mercenary seems to be a mixed bag, I'm afraid," he confided. Well, it was true. Scandal and Knockout and Liana were incredibly happy -- blissful, even -- now, but there had been all that mess with death and hell and torture, Cheshire had sold out and tried to kill Catman and all the rest of them, Deadshot seemed to have had some familial issues before Jeannette, and of course there was how emotionally stuffy most everyone was...

Ah, well. They all muddled through, somehow.

"But he certainly is nice, besides all the grandiose crime." He waved that off as casually as if it were a normal, minor character quirk, as if he'd said something like 'even if he gets snappish occasionally.' "Even the rest of the team thinks he's sweet, and of course, comparatively speaking..." Compared to other criminals, Meister hardly had a mean bone in his body. It was strangely endearing.

[hypnotic_patter]

Soprano, being a bit more danger-sensitive than her boss, had not actually been planning on asking Ragdoll if any of his male coworkers were available for relationships. Quick fucks were acceptable. "The courts don't really see it that way."

"The courts are dumb."

"The courts are really fucking dumb." At least they could agree on that matter. Alto had a criminal record even before her employment and Soprano always had a 'fuck the police' ideology.

[raggedy_doll]

"The courts must take into account, at least, that he hasn't killed anyone." Though since he was sent to Arkham alongside people like Killer Croc and the Joker and others who had an incredibly high body count, taking it into account didn't make much of a difference.

He paused for a moment. "Well. No one who matters. And that didn't even count, I say."

[hypnotic_patter]

Alto shrugged. "You mean the cult guy? That doesn't even count, and he had it coming anyway. He was trying to steal your man." It had been fuzzy whether Billy had committed the murder or Ragdoll had, though as he told it the whole thing sounded like a drug trip with a soundtrack. "You gotta hit back, y'know?"

[raggedy_doll]

"He was, wasn't he?" Ragdoll smiled, cheered by that. "Even if it was done through brainwashing." Usually the 'trying to steal the boy/girlfriend' scenario didn't include brainwashing. Or the primal, almost sentient force of the first song that formed the universe. And that just made the situation even more special! "I certainly would have done it had I not been encouraged, anyway."

[hypnotic_patter]

"Cross? No, I'm not--"

One could almost see the change on his face, the way his posture slipped from casual Billy Harris to dramatic Music Meister as he strode up the red carpet of the theater aisle. The back straightened, the voice grew grander, the gestures of his hands granted a greater flourish.

"I only wanted everything to be perfect for your arrival. But of course, now that you are here, it is perfect already." He held out the wreath as if it were a bouquet. "It has been far too long, dear Doll."

[raggedy_doll]

"You're incorrigible around an audience, William." Not that it took an audience to make Billy slip into these theatrical spells, really. Not that Ragdoll wasn't fond of the ridiculous treatment.

"But it certainly has been too long. Always a danger in our line of work, of course." He took the honeysuckle wreath, going along with the grand romantic act -- before looking pleasantly surprised as he actually examined it. "Ooh, you went with perverted flowers. How nice!"

[hypnotic_patter]

"Don't I always know what you like?" Well, not always. Sometimes he was very surprised by what Ragdoll liked. "Of course I might have gone with two-lips instead."

And to complete the pun he kissed Ragdoll on the cheek. Despite the over the top romantic gestures he wasn't given to PDAs and this was about as physically intimate as he got in public. Anything more carnal wouldn't fit with the performance.

[raggedy_doll]

"And dirty puns? Why, you're absolutely spoiling me. Am I forgetting an anniversary?" Did they do anniversaries? He assumed they did anniversaries, what with William's obvious romantic streak.

He tilted his head to accept the kiss, however, before taking the wreath and placing it on his head like a flower crown, over top his mask and its "hair."

[hypnotic_patter]

"Please, if it were an anniversary I'd have stolen you a suggestively shaped diamond." Did they make those? He'd have to look into the matter. Billy carefully rearranged the wreath so the blossoms weren't falling over Ragdoll's eyes. "Every visit from you is a celebration. If nothing else you're not dead yet."

Up on the balcony Alto had her hands clasped together, trying not to let out gleeful high-pitched noises. Were they not just the best? They were the best.

[raggedy_doll]

"Oh, goodie, I have something to look forward to indeed!" Even if they didn't have actual diamonds crafted into suggestive states, he was certain one of those fake-near-diamond sculptures could be found. If they had them shaped like kittens and unicorns and so on, they must have more interesting options available somewhere.

"The sentiment is returned, William, I assure you." The slightest dip into that faintly more serious tone of voice, the slightly less whimsical smile, before he tried looking past Billy in interest. "Now, what are you doing in there? Why, we could hear you from up in the balcony!"

[hypnotic_patter]

Billy's eyes automatically flicked upward to said balcony, then narrowed at the sight of Alto hanging over the railing. He twitched his head back towards the stage, and she immediately started running for the stairs. Whoops, caught slacking.

"Moving in my new purchases. What were you doing up on the balcony?" Come to think of it, how long had he been here?

[raggedy_doll]

"Do I get to see?" Alto had said 'romantic stuff'. And even if it wasn't romantic stuff, he was in a nosy mood.

"You said that we would be eating on the balcony, so I came in through the vents." As if that were the most logical cause-and-effect possible. "Did you know you're employing a ridiculous romantic? I quite like her."